When you Can't Cry - Laugh!

You are cordially invited

kringeesmom — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 13:31:29 +0000

I have it on pretty good authority that the Obama’s are out of town today. But do not despair, we can still have the traditional cocktail party at the People’s House (fka The White House). If I had the keys to the place, an invite could look something like this:

You are Invited!!!

Where: The People’s House for a New Era of Cocktails

When: Weds, April 1, 2009 7pm – til …

What to Wear: Sleeves, as we only do sleeveless in the dead of winter.

What to Bring: Any friend who could serve in the Dept. of Treasury, Your typical white Grandmother (if you have one), Campaign contributions in the form of a check.

In keeping with the New Era of Responsibility - if you or your guest have paid your taxes promptly and properly, we are not able to extend this invitation.

What to Bring – Optional - Plenty of chickensh**t for the new garden^.

^Federal law requires me to state that the new White House garden is not a farm… I repeat, the White House Garden is not a farm.

The White House garden is merely an example of the New Era of Responsibility to Protect Our Planet, and should not be construed as a farm. We are merely growing the vegetables in the garden to offset all of the hot air (aka carbon dioxide) that is currently polluting the White House. Once again, the White House garden is not a farm. To quote the First Lady “keep your hands off of it…..Hooray for vegetables”

RSVP – April Fools (I think)

Grandma, Commies & Tinfoil Hats

kringeesmom — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 22:24:23 +0000

I remember back in the Ford days (the president, not the car). My grandmother was paranoid about communists. There were commies everywhere and she would talk about them all the time. We would laugh and laugh at grandma and her commies. She saw them in the schools, she saw them in the news, and she saw them in the government. They were everywhere. We just laughed and laughed.

When I would come home from school (public of course) and report what I had learned in history class, she would rant and rave about the communists. She hated the school and even refused to give me information about my family history for a school project, telling me that it was the communists that really wanted the information. We laughed and laughed. Oh Grandma!! There she goes again. Gramma and the commies.

Grandma is not around anymore, she passed away during the Clinton years. Towards the end of her life, she stopped ranting and raving about the commies, except for the time she escaped from the nursing home, and wound up on a bus to Fresno. The bus driver was really a communist and she told everybody! She wound up on a mental health ward, still ranting about the communists. We laughed and gave her a big hug, visiting often.

Now as I read the news each day, I wonder….. what would grandma think now? Our president is the closest thing I’ve ever seen to a communist (okay maybe he’s just a little communist and a lot socialist). He stated in public that he wanted to “spread the wealth” around.

Our government is taking over industries and banks, passing laws that punish “the rich” on behalf of the worker. An Attorney General said they were making too much money and that it is wrong. The unions are out of control and trying to use the federal goverment to make themselves stronger and to abolish a secret ballot. Our Supreme Court has ruled that a woman in Connecticut must surrender her home to a developer who could make better use of it. Our right to bear arms will be challenged in order to save another country. Wow! what would grandma think?

As for public schools, our government rants and raves that they are not working. They need more money, we must protect the children. I disagree, I believe that they have fulfilled their mission beyond expectations. The role of the public school has never been to educate, but to indoctrinate. At indoctrination they are a raging success and grandma was right.

Ask any school child about global warming, nationalized health care, the United Nations and Barack Obama and see just how “educated” they are. Ask them where in the U.S. Constitution is the governments mandate to provide health care, protect the planet or support the UN and you will see what a great indoctrination they are getting. Some of these kids may just look totally lost when you mention the Constitution. There are schools in California where reading the Declaration of Independence is not “part of the curriculum”. It is now illegal to say the Pledge of Allegiance in California schools. Grandma was right.

The news media is completely biased, working so hard to elect our president that the New York Times buried a story that made him look bad. The media is more concerned about the wardrobe in the First Lady’s closet than the corruption in the President’s cabinet. The closet full of sleeveless dresses, the cabinet full of tax cheats, convicted thieves, Lobbyists, Union Leaders and so on. Grandma was right.

Today I wonder…. do I need a tinfoil hat? Am I paranoid because I am seeing communists everywhere? I see our government considering an international currency, appointing attorneys who believe that Sharia Law and International Law should be used in lieu of our Constitution. A government that wants everyone to be “of service” including children wearing uniforms. A government that wants to allow the United Nations to oversee our energy policy in the name of the planet. And I am scared. Darned scared. I am ready to put on my tinfoil hat and rant about the communists. And now, no one is laughing, not even grandma.

Celebrate!! Human Achievement Hour

kringeesmom — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 19:38:00 +0000

http://michellemalkin.com/2009/03/24/celebrate-human-achievement-hour/

I plan on celebrating human acheivement hour by turning on all of the lights on at my house for 3 minutes. Even if I am not in the same room as the aforemention light switched on.

I plan on running the self clean cycle of my oven so that it coincides with Human Achievement Hour. Not only will I be joyfully celebrating man’s momentus achievement to produce electricity that comes into my home, but I will surely benefit from a nice shiny oven!! Wooo Hoo! let the party begin.

Maybe I’ll go out and start up the truck in my driveway to celebrate the self combustion engine, I could also turn on the sprinklers and shout with joy at the water coming out of the hose. The possibilities for honoring Human Achievements are downright endless.

Perhaps those of us who are choosing to celebrate Human Achievement Hour could get on the “green” blogs and write a nice note.

What do you think? How will you celebrate?

I wonder since it is a celebration if I should throw open my freezer and eat all of the ice cream, or would this be taking the party a little too far?

The new lexicon of terror

kringeesmom — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:13:45 +0000

Our new chief of Homeland Security does not wish to use the word “terrorist attack.” Instead, she prefers the term A man caused disaster. So….. here are a few new definitions:

Terrorist - A man caused disaster causer
Terrorist Plot - A new direction for our country
Terrorism - The act of men causing disaster
GITMO - A very very bad place for man caused disaster causers
GITMO Detainee - A man caused disaster causer who is really a misunderstood normal folk who should be living in a beach house funded by the Federal Government.
Client - The word used by Attorney General Eric Holder to describe a man caused disaster causer.
Constitutional Rights - Priviliges now conferred to man caused disaster causers.
Torture - Having to sit through a 30 minute press conference given by Robert Gibbs and Barack Obama when the teleprompter is on the fritz.
Suicide Bomber - A friend of our New American Allies.
Muslim Enclave - A public school somewhere in Minnesota.
New American Allies - Syria and Hamas
Old American Allies - CIA Interrogators
PPTSD - Pre-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Somalian Pirates - Environmentalists who now take hostages so that they can be green.

Obummer a laugh a minute!!

kringeesmom — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 00:08:44 +0000

Punchdrunk. Check out this link.. Who could be funnier than this?? Weren’t we just having the worst financial crisis since the great depression from which we might never never recover?? I should be honored, perhaps the pres is reading my blog….after all when you can’t cry….laugh…

http://haloscan.com/tb/gatewaypundit/8139995714913936910

Hopey Changey Washington

kringeesmom — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 22:50:24 +0000

Remember during the campaign how Obama promised a “new Washington D.C.” ?? and remember on his first or second day of office he said there would be no more lobbyists in his administration?? So far so good!!!

Here’s a few choice members of the “kitchen cabinet”

A Cabinet

Wow what a record

Secretary of Treasury = tax cheat

Secretary of Commerce = Friend of China, questionable fundraiser

State Dept = Hillary Clinton (need I say more?)

Secretary of Labor = Tax Cheating Union Lobbyist who Lobby’s self

U.S. Trade Rep = Tax Cheat

Chief of Staff = Banker (the only Banker that the administration does not hate – w/16 million dollar earnings) Lobbyist, Tax Cheatin’ Freeloader

Chief Information Officer = convicted thief, ran office full of ghost employees supervised by one of his subordinates.

Attorney General = attorney for man caused disaster causers (fka terrorists) Mr. Holder’s law firm represented GITMO detainees

Assitant to Attorney General = King of Porn helping to keep porn sites available at public libraries.

Assisstant to Secty of Defense = Defense contractor lobbyist.

Cabinet Members Pending

State Department Rep = Friend of India, Lobbyist to Department of State

Secretary of Health and Human Services = Friend of Baby Killer, In State Medicaid Scandal

can’t thing of anymore at the moment… sure makes me miss the ole Haliburton days (sigh).

A verse to Start

kringeesmom — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 22:20:01 +0000

Tax Cheat Timmy tells Capitol Hill, “I don’t pay taxes, but the rest of you will!”